FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST

Breakfast. The full English. The full monty. A fry-up. Call it what you want, but there are few nations in this world that do breakfast better than the British do. The breakfast of champions is the most important meal of the day, so naturally it should set the standard in terms of health and nutrition. The concept is simple: get the majority of your calories in at the beginning of the day to keep you productive and content until you can get home from the office, field or factory. Delivering a power-packed 465,873 calories, a full English breakfast blows the foreign continental breakfast of a croissant, a piece of fruit and a glass of juice clean out of the English Channel.
Tourists enjoy the traditional English breakfast because they don’t often eat such things at home. If they did, they would die. It simply isn’t in their DNA.
The single most important ingredient for any breakfast claiming to be the full English is bacon. These greasy slices of pig are the artery-hardening heart of any good breakfast.
Fried egg is the only option for this type of breakfast. You’ve come so far, so why ruin it now? Of course, it is acceptable to have scrambled eggs, but only if you are seven years old.
Margarine is a French invention. Enough said. But the spreading of full-fat butter on bread is a complete waste. If you’re a real Brit, then you’ll know that a fried slice is the perfect accompaniment to any breakfast. It’s the greatest invention since un-fried bread.
Now, sit back, stir two sugars into your tea and enjoy. Eat it all up for England, St George and one’s mother.

(From ‘Charles HRH’s Guide to Great Britishness’)